Words like swords
Words Can Hurt
By Karen Propp
Lilith
Winter 2005
This article is about verbal abuse and it's frequency in the jewish community. Until I moved to Philly, I had never lived in (or, to the best of my knowledge, near) a Jewish community, so i really can't comment on what is frequent and what is not. However, it makes some interesting points about abuse.
Verbal abuse is something everyone experiences - particularly if you're female. It seems to be the way girls fight. quite frankly, I've often wished more women would learn how to use their fists on occasion...but that's another topic for another day.
The hard thing about verbal abuse is identifying it. When has someone gone to far? Just like physical abuse, there are times when it's obvious, but there are times when it's not.
Recently I was told by a person I know who is a Psychologist that verbal abuse can 9and will) have the same afect on the human psyche (and the body) as physical abuse. It's a form of trauma that can/will cripple a person just as effectively as a brutal attack or regular beatings.
There's a disconnection and a pointed insult of human worth when verbal assaults are thrown, but there is that difficult to identify aspect of personality. some people will be bruised and broken by the very same interaction that will not bother another person at all.
Identifying the abuse between a couple has to occur between that couple, as the affects are indicated by their relationship and moods and psychological health. between people who are not in an intimate (or familial or work) relationship, there's (usually) the possibility of removing oneself from the interaction altogether (in a work based relationship there are usually options for this that don't occur elsewhere) and it may be a matter of the person recieveing the assault recognizing the effects on themselves and taking the action necessary.
If someone you can walk away from and avoid contact with is brutalizing you physically, would you go back? Why should verbal abuse be any different?
I guess it comes down to society and personal struggles and people learning to see the affects of their own actions - even when those actions are both accepted and expected among their own family.
It's a complicated problem.
By Karen Propp
Lilith
Winter 2005
This article is about verbal abuse and it's frequency in the jewish community. Until I moved to Philly, I had never lived in (or, to the best of my knowledge, near) a Jewish community, so i really can't comment on what is frequent and what is not. However, it makes some interesting points about abuse.
Verbal abuse is something everyone experiences - particularly if you're female. It seems to be the way girls fight. quite frankly, I've often wished more women would learn how to use their fists on occasion...but that's another topic for another day.
The hard thing about verbal abuse is identifying it. When has someone gone to far? Just like physical abuse, there are times when it's obvious, but there are times when it's not.
Recently I was told by a person I know who is a Psychologist that verbal abuse can 9and will) have the same afect on the human psyche (and the body) as physical abuse. It's a form of trauma that can/will cripple a person just as effectively as a brutal attack or regular beatings.
There's a disconnection and a pointed insult of human worth when verbal assaults are thrown, but there is that difficult to identify aspect of personality. some people will be bruised and broken by the very same interaction that will not bother another person at all.
Identifying the abuse between a couple has to occur between that couple, as the affects are indicated by their relationship and moods and psychological health. between people who are not in an intimate (or familial or work) relationship, there's (usually) the possibility of removing oneself from the interaction altogether (in a work based relationship there are usually options for this that don't occur elsewhere) and it may be a matter of the person recieveing the assault recognizing the effects on themselves and taking the action necessary.
If someone you can walk away from and avoid contact with is brutalizing you physically, would you go back? Why should verbal abuse be any different?
I guess it comes down to society and personal struggles and people learning to see the affects of their own actions - even when those actions are both accepted and expected among their own family.
It's a complicated problem.
posted by A at 7:56 AM
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